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What I Want To Teach My Boys

In Mommyhood

What I What To Teach My Children

Over the past few weeks (months, years…) I’ve seen a steady increase in the lack of compassion and respect in the younger generation.  Dear fellow grown ups of the world, we need to HAVE TO do better.  Whether it’s the need for stronger discipline, more love, or whatever, something needs to be done now.  What I have seen lacking in the values of today’s kids, is exactly what I want to teach my children.  I want to teach them how to be good humans.

There’s a huge difference from when I was a kid to now.  Or maybe I was in my own bubble which is a huge possibility.  I know I wasn’t a perfect kid, none of us are/were.  I know there were times when I wanted to give up or felt unmotivated, times when I let the sass fly and times I was ungrateful.  But I was taught, disciplined, put in my place, whatever you want to call it.  And this is what I intend to do with my boys.Continue reading

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4 Perils Of The Perfectionist Parent

In Mommyhood

Becoming a parent completely throws a perfectionist for a loop.  I use the term “perfectionist parent” in the sense of someone who has always been a perfectionist and has become a parent.  I do not mean it in the sense that I expect to be the end all/be all in parenting or that my children must be perfect little robots.  I’ve remarked in past posts about my OCD/perfectionist tendencies but, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at realizing that pretty much no one cares about certain things as much as I do.  I’ve also learned to let some things go.  This, however, does not mean that I don’t still get irritated,itchy, or anxious from time to time.  I’m not perfect (GASP!) but my brain certainly tries to be.  There are 4 areas I’ve found that are my “triggers” or things that make me get all hot and tight chested.  If you’re a perfectionist parent like myself, I know you’ll totally understand!Continue reading

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Doing Better For My Skin // Part 1

In Uncategorized

*Thank you to VIIcode for sponsoring this post.  The following is my 100% my honest opinion.

One of my smaller goals for this year is to do exactly what the title says, doing better for my skin.  Why a smaller goal you may ask?  Because, a lot of the time, doing better means getting better quality products which means dollar amounts higher than I’m used to.  I want to do all the things that are better for my skin, especially now that I’m in my thirties (technically the beauty world says you should be using wrinkle cream in your 20s but whatever), but my budget just doesn’t allow me to completely overhaul my beauty routine with top of the line products.  So, for now, I’m doing two things and today I’m sharing with you number one.Continue reading

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How to Make a Party in a Box

How to Make a Party in a Box

In Uncategorized

How to Make a Party in a BoxIt’s that time of the school year already…the end!  Summer is approaching (if you live in the south like we do, it’s already here) and it’s time for teacher gifts.  Now, I’m a teacher myself and get a few gifts and I’m not one bit opposed to getting a gift card.  Those are awesome and so appreciated!  With that said, I just can’t stop my creative side from wanting to do more.  I got this crazy idea in my head about a party in a box for Gav’s teachers and I had to run with it.  It’s so simple, can be relatively inexpensive, and it so fun!

Continue reading

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You Don’t Need Me Like You Used To

In Mommyhood

It feels like yesterday that you needed me for just about everything other than walking.  I would wake you up, change your diaper, get you something to eat or drink, give you cuddles when you were tired, get you dressed, etc.  I would push you on the swings and you would crawl up in my lap when you started to get sleepy.

Now things are different.  Not a bad different just…different different.Continue reading

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Too Many Plates

In Mommyhood

image via Unsplash

My alarm clock goes off somewhere between 5:15 and 5:30 everyday.  And by alarm clock, I mean Ro and/or my phone.  Sometimes my phone will actually beat the little man to the punch but lately, it’s been Ro who wins.  I used to get some time in the morning to myself but more often than not, I have my little buddy with me.  My mornings start right away because Ro waits for no one.  Changing the diaper (if he’ll let me), getting him milk, trying to make my coffee, and sometimes getting the dishwasher emptied and filled from the night before.  Gav has always been a late sleeper so I can pretty much depend on him to sleep until 7:00 most mornings.  But before I know it, it’s out the door we go to get to school.  After drop off, it’s on to the next.

Mondays are Gymboree for Ro, Tuesdays and Fridays are workout days for me, Wednesday is small group, and Thursday is usually grocery day.  Somewhere between these things and work, Ro takes a nap and I try to do house work and any orders or projects that need to be done.  Unfortunately, Ro has been refusing a second one for awhile now so I haven’t been getting that extra time.  Three days out of the week I work at the dance studio and then there’s tae kwon do for Gav twice a week and church activities on Sunday.

Why in the world did I tell you all this?  Maybe to give myself a little perspective, maybe to cut myself a little slack?  But it’s basically to say that I’ve had too many plates spinning in the air.  That’s why I haven’t been able to find the time to sit here post about, well, anything!  That also had a lot to do with the fact that we had a computer that was 10 years old and was slowly but surely dying before my eyes.  Like seriously, that thing was on life support!  This meant that any time I wanted to post something, I would need a block of about and hour just to boot the thing up and get the page open to type.  Add another hour if I wanted to add pictures, which, of course, I do!  But I’m happy to report that we took the plunge, made the investment, and I’m posting from my shiny, beautiful, and super fast new computer!

I’ve been feeling like I’ve been drowning in “plates” and I haven’t been able to get a balance but I’m figuring it out.  I’m often asked how in the world I do it all.  I don’t.  Often times one thing gets sacrificed for another (a lot of times it’s the laundry because that requires climbing two sets of stairs) and that’s just how it is.  Sometimes I have to sacrifice a chore and the blog because I have a deadline for a shop order.  It all depends on the week but I’m starting to find a bit more of a balance.  I have a fabulous new planner (thanks bestie!) that I make a point of looking at each day.  I find little moments to brainstorm and have a nice list of ideas ready to go.  I’ve also learned the beauty of saying no.  It’s still not easy for me and I totally need to finish reading The Best Yes, but I’m working on it.  I’ve picked my plates back up one at a time and they’re starting to spin again.  I’m one of those people that likes to be busy, no idol time for this mama.  I’m ready to get back to pouring more time into this happy little space of mine.  If you’ve stuck around, you’re the best and I love you!

XO, Kelly

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Body Image + Being a Boy Mom

In Mommyhood

I’ve see many posts about the importance of teaching young girls to have a positive body image.  With all of the magazine covers, social media, and all of the things we watch on TV, there is plenty of of fuel for negativity to thrive.  Our social standard for beauty in America is a bit twisted and realitively unattainable, even for the rich and famous.  Once I found out I was having a boy the first time around, I was relieved.  Thank goodness that was one thing I wasn’t going to have to deal with like girl moms do.  Thank goodness I wasn’t going to have to worry about a daughter having an eating disorder or constantly worrying about her weight and appearance.

But later, after another pregnancy and getting back my body after breastfeeding stopped, I started to think much differently.  Boys can have these same problems.  Just because the statistics are much higher for girls, doesn’t mean my boys are exempt.  I already see a perfectionist streak in Gav and it worries me.  I know what that feels like and it’s not that fun.  The urge to constantly be the best, or do everything, or be good at whatever you try can be exhausting.  Part of that, at least for me, was in my appearance.

Part of me hesitates to write this because I do realize that I am not a big person.  I’m short and have a realitivly small build but I can honestly tell you that that is not what I always see in the mirror.  I can’t help it.  I struggled with bulemia in college and that was a very hard place to be.  I grew up in the dance studio where being thin is longed for and praised.  I still struggle with it at times but never act on it.  Having a positive body image is a constant battle for me but I’m getting there.  Oddly enough, I’m the most confident in my body now, after two children.  But what does this mean for my boys?  I want them to learn two things from having a positive body image.  One is the obvious.  I want them to love themselves exactly the way God made them.  For them to know that they were fearfully and wonderfully made.  That they’re worth lies in the Lord, not some image that they feel they have to meet.  I want the same things for my boys that girl moms want for their daughters.  I want them to have self confidence, to own who they are.

To add to this though, I want them to see me as a woman who values herself.  Who finds her own worth in the Lord, not some image I feel I have to meet.  I want them to see a woman that respects her body and that a woman’s body is to be respected.  It is why I don’t ever act on my negative thoughts.  It’s why I pray for self control and courage.  It’s why I eat as best as I can and stay active.  I have to model this behavior for them as their mother.  I know that I can’t shield them from ever feeling badly about how they look feeling doubtful about they’re appearance.  Self consciousness is natural, especially in t hose oh so glamourous teenage years.  Not to mention how grateful I am that I didn’t have to be a teenager when social media came about!  (Seriously, thank goodness!).

As an adult, I have witnessed the negativity on multiple occasions.  I watch my students at the dance studio complain that they are “fat”, when they’re clearly not, more times than I’d like to count.  It breaks my heart, yet I know how they feel.  I’ve seen girls go through feeling hurt when the boys they hang around with or once dated call them names or belittle them.  Neither situation will be my boys.  They will learn that all bodies are beautiful.  That all bodies are on a journey.  It’s that old cliche, be nice to everyone because you never know what they’re going through.  I’m not naive to think that they will never have these feelings.  I just pray that when they do, that I have set the example of positivity. That I have been an example of finding my worth in God and not the cover of a magazine or movie poster.  I pray that they see that others are to be lifted up, not torn down and that each body is sacred, made in God’s image.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Psalm 139:14

XO, Kelly

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Boss Mom with Annie The Real House Wife of Fresno

In Mommyhood
There are days that I feel totally overwhelmed.  I have a lot on my plate which is mostly self inflicted but regardless some days it has me bonkers.  I have to juggle being a wife, mom, friend, professional, aunt, daughter, cousin, granddaughter, sister just to name a few.  I also juggle being a taxi cab driver, chef, therapist, jungle gym, babysitter (and I don’t mean my kids, this has more to do with work), financial planner, professional shopper, and maid.  If I try to sum up all these roles I would say I’m a BOSS mom.  To successfully get through the day I have to take charge and be the boss.  Otherwise, days would slip away and I think I would get trampled on.

Being a BOSS mom means that I have to get up every morning and take the reins.  My husband is gone by the time I get up so the morning routine is all up to me.  I try very hard as a BOSS mom to have a positive outlook on the day and set the tone for the girls.  Also as a BOSS mom I have to be as prepared as possible.  Speaking of the morning routine it’s always chaotic but I try my best to prepare as much ahead of time to take the chaos level down.  I pack lunch and pick out everybody’s clothes the night before.  I also think about what we will have for breakfast the next morning.  Having a routine in the morning helps move things along because Emily, my oldest can help with getting things done and she knows her responsibilities.
Part of my preparation is looking at the calendar for the next day every night.  I also look at the whole week every Sunday night.  This is when I make sure I have babysitters at the right times, I’m prepared for any presentations, I’ve got my errands mapped out, etc.

As a Realtor my schedule is very unknown but I utilize nap time to get as much of my work and blogging done.  As soon as naps are over it’s back to the juggling act (or struggling act).  My girls take late naps so by the time they get up we might have time for a little activity and then it’s dinner prep time and the girls might watch tv while I do that.  The crockpot is my favorite tool ever to make dinner time a bit easier but I can’t use it every night.
My husband gets home pretty late each night so dinner is literally ready to go on the table when he walks in the door.  This means full dinner preparation is up to me.  Luckily, Emily is old enough now to help with a few small tasks around dinner time like setting out placemats and filling up water cups.
We have the same routine almost every night after dinner, which includes bath, nightly medicine, brush teeth and hair, use the restroom, say prayers, read a book and go down for bed.  If Emily has been good she sometimes gets to stay up a little later than her sister and then the three of us will play a game after the other routine stuff is done and Madison is down.
Being a BOSS Mom means that I have to delegate at the end of the day to survive.  My husband frequently does dishes while I do baths.  He also helps with the rest of the bed time routine; we make a good team.
From 6:00 am-6:00pm I’m on my own so being a BOSS Mom all day can be exhausting so getting some help at night is such a relief.
As you can see our days can be very busy and routine so part of being a BOSS mom is finding “moments” to share with my girls so the days don’t slip away.  Sometimes I get home from work and don’t even get a chance to change but want to spend special time with my girls.  I even try to spend one-on-one time with each girl.
This is a time that Emily and I made homemade strawberry ice cream.  She talked about that experience all summer long.  It was so fun and tasted even better! 
One way I spend one-on-one time with Madi is taking her to a mommy and me gym class while Emily is in school.
To sum up being a BOSS Mom in one simple sentence it means I have to manage it all. 
And let’s be honest one of the greatest struggles of all is the FAMILY PHOTO!!!  Family photos crack me up because you’re dying for that perfect photo but the behind the scenes is a very different reality…”If you don’t smile and look at the camera no TV for a week!…Smile and I’ll give you 5 lbs of candy…Act happy Darnit!!!”
Anyways every family photo shoot I sweat bullets and my blood pressure goes through the roof but getting that perfect family photo makes it all worth it.  This is our most recent family photo and what do you know we never got one with both girls smiling!  This was a close enough winner.
But this right here is what makes the struggle worth it!!!!
Ultimately being a BOSS mom means keeping my family together, happy, and healthy.
As a BOSS Mom I:
1. Take Charge
2. Prep
3. Plan, Plan, Plan
4. Have a Positive Attitude
5. Rely on Routines
6. Delegate
7. Find Moments
8. Live for my Family
I am Annie, the author of The Real Housewife of Fresno.  I am a wife, mama, Realtor, and lifestyle blogger.  I share about family, friends, food, fashion, and my favorite finds.  I was born and raised in Fresno, CA and I truly love this place I call home.  I married my high school sweetheart, Kevin in 2009 and we welcomed our first bundle of joy, Emily Grace in 2011 and our second baby girl, Madison Anne in 2014.  I wear a million different hats a day but typically love all my roles.  My obsessions include reality tv, anything sweet, high heels, handbags, arm candy, sunnies, lip gloss, buffalo chicken salad, hot tea (I hate coffee), Instagram, Pinterest, and a good book, a pool, and a cocktail!
I love connecting with new people so stop by and say hello:
Twitter: @RHWifeofFresno
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Last Baby Syndrome

In Mommyhood

In less than one week, 6 days to be exact, our sweet little Ro will be one.  One whole year has passed and I can’t help but be super nostalgic about it.  I remember, with Gav, feeling so excited about him getting older and each new stage.  Not that I’m not excited for Ro’s new stages but I’m almost sad at the passing of the younger ones.

For me, not necessarily God’s plan but in my head, we’re done having kids.  I feel totally complete with my two boys.  I have no desire to “try for a girl”, I’m fairly convinced if we actually did that it would be another boy anyway.  But I don’t feel like I am not fulfilled by not experiencing having one.  Our family feels whole, the boys get along so well, for now that is, and I’m very happy with the dynamic of our little family.  This is also not to say that we would be up in arms and upset if something “happened”, we’re just not planning on anymore and don’t want to try.

So this leaves me knowing that this is my last baby.  The last time I will carry my child everywhere because he can’t walk yet.  He also has zero interest in it and would rather just watch big brother do stuff.  The last time I will cut things into little pieces for mealtime or make airplane noises with a spoon.  Hopefully it’s not the last time I’ll have a kid who will try anything I put in front of him.  I hope that one sticks!

My days are numbered for baby wearing and cuddles.  Soon he won’t be falling asleep on me and sucking his thumb.  He’ll start talking, which will be so wonderful, but along with that comes tantrums and the “terrible twos” and “threenager” phases.  For now I still get to listen to the playful babble, the sweet “mama”s and “dada”s.

With Gav, every stage seemed like it took forever.  Not in the way that he was behind but in the way that I looked forward to each stage and could barely wait for him to do something new.  I swear it took twice as long for him to turn 6 months than it did Roman.  With Ro, everything is seeming to go so much faster.  Except for his teeth.  He didn’t get his first tooth until he was 10 months and then I found myself missing his gummy smile.  I was almost hoping he wouldn’t get them until later than that!  It’s just little silly things like that that start to pull on my heart strings.

To know that I’m done carrying a life inside me is hard to think about sometimes as well.  I was blessed with two wonderful, very easy, pregnancies.  No morning sickness, no complications, etc.  So if we weren’t done, that definitely wouldn’t be a factor in our decision.   I loved being pregnant for the most part.  I got super uncomfortable towards the end but that’s normal.  Feeling the kicks, hiccups, and knowing that your body is growing theirs.  It’s such an incredible experience.

But now I’m moving on to the next stage of my life, just like my boys.  I’ll be a mom of a preschooler and a toddler and I know that life is about to get a lot more rowdy.  I’m ready!

XO, Kelly

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Favorite Apps For Every Day Mom Life

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It’s no surprise to anyone these days that our phones/apps play a huge role in our every day life.  We take pictures, we have all of our social media on there to keep up with, email, etc.  So it makes sense to get as much as we can out of it.  I wanted to share some of my favorite apps that I’ve been using lately that help and entertain me through the day!

Wunderlist – For Productivity

I found this app not too long ago and have loved using it!  It’s really helped out with planning Ro’s first birthday and keeping up with all there is to do with that.  Plus, who doesn’t love checking things off their to-do list?!  I think my favorite part of the app is the little sound it makes when you check off an item.  “DING!” So satisfying!

This App has also helped me because I always have my phone but I don’t always remember to bring along a list I may have written at home.  I can’t tell you how many grocery lists I’ve left at home while rushing out the door.

Fooducate – For Healthy Living

This app is awesome.  My dad introduced me to this one.  Not only do I trust him because he’s my dad, he’s also a personal trainer, he knows his stuff.

There are two features on here that I use constantly.  The food finder and the health tracker.  Food finder helps you while you’re shopping to find the best possible choices.  You scan the product and it gets a grade.  We try very hard to stay within the A/B range.  You’d be surprised what some of you favorite products get!

The health tracker is great if you’re trying to lose weight or just trying to be more conscious of what’s going into your body.  You can add your own foods, keep track of your water intake (something still very hard for me), and add in your workouts.  They have a huge variety of activities that burn calories including some very realistic options for stay at home mamas or daddies.

Timehop – For Memories

Warning: this app has the capability to cause nostalgia induced tears

If you aren’t already using it and you use Instagram as much as Facebook, you need the app!  I love this app for the shear fact that there are many moments that I have forgotten.  Especially since Gav is closer to five than four.  There are pictures from when we still counted his age in months!  It’s fun to compare how he looks with Ro and there are videos that melt my heart.  One that popped up months ago was a funny video of something Gav used to do as a toddler.  We would tell him that we had to go to the bathroom and he would run and flush the toilet and yell “Pee Peeeeeeeeee!”.  I must have rematched that video a hundred times!  (Dear teenage Gavin, sorry but I will be telling that story to your girlfriends.)

Also, as much as it pains me to think that my baby is going to be a year old, Ro will soon be in the Timehop feed with his brother!

Pinterest
– For Bordom Busting

I love having this one on my phone specifically for carline.  If I’m not reading a book or I’m only five minutes early, I pop on Pinterest.  I’m always looking for new ideas, home projects, or like right now, planning a party!

What are some of your favorite apps for your every day life?

XO, Kelly
PS: All of these are free apps!

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