On Disappointment

Photo by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦 on Unsplash

The last time I wrote, I was pretty pumped about getting to accomplish one of my life goals, participate in a 5K. I am disappointed to report that it didn’t happen. I wanted it to happen, but it didn’t.

The days leading up to the event were pretty normal. I made sure I had all my projects finished, had a plan in place for the boys and who would be there. Then I hit my first roadblock. My race partner wasn’t going to be able to make it. I don’t fault her in the slightest. I REPEAT, I in no way at all blame her. She ended up getting an amazing, PAID, opportunity that would have been dumb to pass up. Had it been me, I’d have done the same. Was I disappointed? Of course.  But it is what it is, I was still going to go.

The my mom texted me, telling me that the projected forecast for that Saturday was rain.  100% chance, all day, rain.  Super.

Well, I though to myself, I’m still going.  The race was suppose to be dirty and muddy anyway so what was a little rain going to do?  I would go, run the race, and come home.  The plan had to change with the kids since everything was outside and figured the kid zone would be a wreck and I really only needed one of us to be covered in mud.  They would stay home with my mom until hubby got home from work.  So now I was doing this by myself, in the rain.  But, danggit, I was doing it NO MATTER WHAT!  Things started to look up when my dad said he’d go with me and stand on the sidelines. Now I had a cheerleader!  But then…

BOOM! I got sick.  I (*knock on wood*) don’t get sick too often.  I try to take care of myself as best as I can, eating right, staying active, but something got me.  Major congestion, sore throat, higher temperature than normal, and body aches.  I tried all day Friday to convince myself that it was just allergies and I’d be better in morning.  I tried but it wasn’t happening.  I resigned to needing rest and not doing the race the next day.  I was beyond disappointed.  I could handle doing the race by myself.  I could handle doing it in the rain.  I could’ve handled not having anyone else there with me.  I couldn’t handle not going at all.  Other than the fact that my spot was nonrefundable, I don’t like not following through.  Plus, this was on my list!  I just blogged about doing it!  How is this not happening?!

So now what?  Let’s just stop for a minute here and let me acknowledge the fact that I recognize this as a first world problem.  Which is one way I got over my disappointment.  Bringing myself back to reality definitely helped bring me back to the fact that this was not, in the scheme of things, that big of a deal.  Reality check #2…This doesn’t mean that I can never sign up for another 5K ever again. I’m already looking into upcoming ones.  Reality check #3…I didn’t feel better on Saturday.  God was telling me to slow down.  Yes I had plans, but His were different and, ultimately, better.  I spent the better half of the day sleeping.  Hubby took the boys out for a couple hours so I could rest more and relax.  They came back and had a little surprise present for me, making me feel pretty darn special.

I recently finished another book and a quote near the end really drove this all home for me. “Maybe when we recognize the trivial for what it is, we can concentrate on what we love most, what we treasure most.” – The Murderer’s Daughters (Randy Susan Meyers)

Moral of the story? It’s not wrong to feel disappointment.  Life is full of it.  It’s about allowing yourself to feel that emotion, picking yourself back up, and giving yourself a few reality checks.  Wallowing in the disappointment wouldn’t have done me any good.  Ironic thing about the whole situation?  It didn’t rain on Saturday.

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