Last Baby Syndrome

In less than one week, 6 days to be exact, our sweet little Ro will be one.  One whole year has passed and I can’t help but be super nostalgic about it.  I remember, with Gav, feeling so excited about him getting older and each new stage.  Not that I’m not excited for Ro’s new stages but I’m almost sad at the passing of the younger ones.

For me, not necessarily God’s plan but in my head, we’re done having kids.  I feel totally complete with my two boys.  I have no desire to “try for a girl”, I’m fairly convinced if we actually did that it would be another boy anyway.  But I don’t feel like I am not fulfilled by not experiencing having one.  Our family feels whole, the boys get along so well, for now that is, and I’m very happy with the dynamic of our little family.  This is also not to say that we would be up in arms and upset if something “happened”, we’re just not planning on anymore and don’t want to try.

So this leaves me knowing that this is my last baby.  The last time I will carry my child everywhere because he can’t walk yet.  He also has zero interest in it and would rather just watch big brother do stuff.  The last time I will cut things into little pieces for mealtime or make airplane noises with a spoon.  Hopefully it’s not the last time I’ll have a kid who will try anything I put in front of him.  I hope that one sticks!

My days are numbered for baby wearing and cuddles.  Soon he won’t be falling asleep on me and sucking his thumb.  He’ll start talking, which will be so wonderful, but along with that comes tantrums and the “terrible twos” and “threenager” phases.  For now I still get to listen to the playful babble, the sweet “mama”s and “dada”s.

With Gav, every stage seemed like it took forever.  Not in the way that he was behind but in the way that I looked forward to each stage and could barely wait for him to do something new.  I swear it took twice as long for him to turn 6 months than it did Roman.  With Ro, everything is seeming to go so much faster.  Except for his teeth.  He didn’t get his first tooth until he was 10 months and then I found myself missing his gummy smile.  I was almost hoping he wouldn’t get them until later than that!  It’s just little silly things like that that start to pull on my heart strings.

To know that I’m done carrying a life inside me is hard to think about sometimes as well.  I was blessed with two wonderful, very easy, pregnancies.  No morning sickness, no complications, etc.  So if we weren’t done, that definitely wouldn’t be a factor in our decision.   I loved being pregnant for the most part.  I got super uncomfortable towards the end but that’s normal.  Feeling the kicks, hiccups, and knowing that your body is growing theirs.  It’s such an incredible experience.

But now I’m moving on to the next stage of my life, just like my boys.  I’ll be a mom of a preschooler and a toddler and I know that life is about to get a lot more rowdy.  I’m ready!

XO, Kelly

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